Going back
So the doc said I should go back to psych ward
She stared at the wall. It seemed to be slowly moving forward, coming towards her. Closing in. She knew it was all in her head, but she couldn’t help being afraid.
She opened her laptop to distract herself, but nothing came up. The words were stuck, art was out of the question, even the soft music she played was grating on her nerves, but the silence was worse.
Stuck.
She was stuck inside her own head, incapable of escaping its downfall.
Friends didn’t help, much as they tried. How could they, when there was no solution to her problem?
The psychiatrist offered a way out.
Hospital.
Again.
She had no real choice but to agree, despite the misgivings that gnawed at her guts. She’d survived the last times, she’d survive this time as well. But how long would it last?
She had a job. She didn’t want to be away from it for too long.
She had a lover, she didn’t want to disappear on her.
She had family… Yeah, those were the main reason she needed to go. She could do without them for a month or three.
With a deep breath, she took the offer. The doc made her a note to send to the hospital. She made the mistake of reading it. Her whole mind was in there, raw and unprotected. All her flaws, all her pains, all her illnesses staring back at her from the document.
She wrote a quick email, attached it, and hit send.
A breath finally escaped her lips, yet she didn’t feel any relief. One more step in a direction she didn’t want to go. She knew she had no choice though. It was that, or going completely insane.
She didn’t want to lose her mind again.
Minerrale is a French writer and artist. No cats, no dogs, no husbands, just a rabbit helping her, she has all the time in the world to write, make art, and help others in their creative endeavours.
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